Owen Barritt (hmmm_tea) wrote,
Owen Barritt

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An Atheist's View on Christianity (or why I'm not one)

Went to my nieces Christening today. Sat an observed rather than joining in with the service. Although, I think that may sound disrespectful, by joining in I would have been saying things I don't believe in and making promises on things I don't believe, which would have been far more disrespectful to the religion.

I mainly went along, because I knew how much it would mean to Ian (Skye is far too young to care whether her Uncle's there or not really). It's really uncomfortable being in a church service as a non-believer, which ok, isn't a problem as that's not who they're for. However, it has got me thinking about my own faith, or lack there of, so I thought I'd record these thoughts here.

I was brought up a christian, but lapsed in my habbits of going to church whilst I was very young. Mum stopped going to church after the divorce, she doesn't like the way the church conducted it's services and in more recent years turned to being a Jehoviah's Witness (another thing that got me thinking a lot about my own thoughts on the subject).

Dad did however, take me to church when I was round his for the weekend. Something which I loved at the time, but that was at least in part because I was best friends with the Vicars son (and being that young didn't really understand about faith, etc). However, when the vicar and his family moved away I stopped going and as a teenager began thinking of myself less and less as a christian.

I have a lot of very mixed up thoughts on the subject, but I know I'm happy with the theory of evolution and intelligent life being just a natural part of that. As such I can't see humans as being any different from other animals, we're just another species on this planet.

This then naturally leads me to think if there was a higher being, why would he be interested in us? In terms of the whole universe, we're actually fairly insignificant. There's millions of other species on this planet and there's millions of other planets out there (admittedly the vast majority of them will be unhabited, but that's not the point).

If there was a higher being, why should it necessarily be infallible? I'm not sure I believe in infallibility. If there was one, I think it would certainly be fallible. Nothing is perfect.

As a non-believer, if I'm wrong I'm going to go to hell? hmmm, that's a nice thought. I don't think I'm generally a bad person (well at least I hope not), I know I've done many things that would be considered as "sins" (some I regret, some I don't) same as anyone else, christian or otherwise, but I think I'm generally considerate to others and the environment around me. Yet for the fundamental reason that I don't believe/I don't worship/I don't live my life as a christian I shall go to hell. Does the same apply to cats and dogs and things, if so what do they do in the way of worship or are they all condemned?

So, I shall be highly blasphemous now. I think that if there is a higher being and by not worshipping/believing in him/living our lives the way he wants we're going to be condemned to eternal damnation, then this higher being is necessarily selfish. If that's the case, then I don't think I'd want to go to heaven. I'd perfer to go to hell as a martyr.

Maybe that doesn't capture my thoughts into words properly, but it's an attempt and maybe gives a vague idea of what I think...

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