computer, internet, blogging


Judging by twitter it looked something like this:


  • 1/1 is beginning to wonder if there are any marching bands left in America or have we actually managed to steal them all?
  • 9/1 Although it's always nice to stop after a busy few days, the hard shoulder of the M1 wasn't quite what I had in mind...
  • 14/1 Heading home to Old Kent Road from Mayfair. Do I get £200 now?
  • 19/1 carefully set aside an evening in, so I could have at least 1 this month. Seem to have managed to spend it in Dulwich talking about fish...
  • 22/1 has hobnails at the ready and is heading for the fens
  • 28/1 is clearly not in London. The cash machines here all issue £5 notes.
  • 31/1 found the recipe for banana and spaghetti curry in a charity shop. This has got to be tried...


  • 1/2 is not lost in the suburbs of Manchester. Yay!
  • 3/2 is definitely back in Cumbria. It's raining from all directions.
  • 7/2 wonders if his flat has something against him leaving it. Why does something have to trip the electricity every time I come back?
  • 16/2 hmmm.. flying saucepan lids?! Maybe I wondered off the recipe a little too much...
  • 18/2 had forgotten how much fun it is to play ceilidh pinball with drunk people
  • 20/2 seems to have managed to make himself a cup of tea for each hand.
  • 25/2 is in Bristol


  • 4/3 is in Oxford committing no nuisance.
  • 11/3 is still not convinced that a cup of tea and a few biscuits is a fair exchange for a pint of blood.
  • 13/3 is sure trains aren't supposed to get more convenient when there's engineering works on, but won't argue.
  • 15/3 No longer has to run a rapper team. Wahoo, free time!
  • 27/3 Outbreak of tweed in Hampstead. Could be the onset of BST.
  • 28/3 200 miles to Edinburgh. Guess that means we're not there yet.
  • 29/3 Hiding the tea in the wardrobe's cunning, but not cunning enough.
  • 30/3 appears to be surrounded by pictures of people pulling teeth out through the ages.


  • 4/4 Only 35 miles to Liverpool. Luckily we're going the other way.
  • 6/4 At what point did my luggage get replaced with bricks? I knew learning to read was a mistake!
  • 6/4 'This is Coventry. Please take care if leaving the train.' The announcer's clearly been here before!
  • 11/4 loves the way Sky salesmen's eyes pop out when you tell them you don't have a TV.
  • 15/4 2 hours of molly, 5 hours of travel. Which was I trying to practice again?
  • 18/4 Ooo look... A chance to forget how many days in a normal working week. Now, is it 3 or 4?
  • 23/4 St George's Day. Heading to Charlton. There be dragons.
  • 25/4 has never been asked if he Morris dances for a living before.
  • 29/4 So, when's the divorce? I could do with another bank holiday


  • 3/5 Argument between binmen and a merc. My money's on the binmen.
  • 7/5 Southwark said yes. Does that mean we get to AV while the rest of the country carries on with the dark ages?
  • 7/5 supposes that you can't do a fisherman's dance without getting wet occasionally
  • 27/5 Off to spend the weekend in Chippenhampton
  • 29/5 has apparently finally managed be in 2 places at once.


  • 3/6 3.5 days in London. Time to run away again...
  • 12/6 A nice fun Sunday morning game of chase the train across London. Victoria to Blackfriars with no time and no tube is a little challenging.
  • 17/6 is lucky he's not going to Hull
  • 19/6 Given the amount of the summer I seem to spend in random fields, wonder if I should just seek temporary employment as a scarecrow.
  • 20/6 Time to leave the land of white phone boxes.


  • 9/7 has just had a lesson in why half the pubs in Walworth are closed. Alas, the future's not looking bright for the other half.
  • 16/7 When was SE london annexed by Penrith?
  • 24/7 There's something ever so suprising about colliding with a plastic cow on the way home in the early hours of the morning.
  • 28/7 Is this plastic cow stalking me?


  • 2/8 and so we move to my 7th desk. Career's definitely going somewhere. Shame "somewhere" appears to be a tour of the office.
  • 3/8 Hello iliotibial bands, I think I preferred it when I was completely ignorant of your existance
  • 8/8 Still no riots in the pub. Probably better carry on keeping an eye on the place though...
  • 12/8 Fire engine outside the flat. Looks like they've been rioting in the dustbins. Won't find much to loot in there.
  • 13/8 Burnt dustbin in middle of road. None missing though. Did they bring their own?
  • 14/8 Another day, another treacle mine.
  • 18/8 Time to pack for 2 weeks of the best northern English rain
  • 19/8 Why aren't rucksacks designed for wearing 3 at once?
  • 23/8 And so, after the weekend's sunny interlude, the traditional Whitby folk week weather arrives.
  • 25/8 is not sure the swimming pool makes a great addition to the tent.
  • 30/8 appears to have slept through the bank holiday weekend.
  • 30/8 Standing in the garden, pretending to be a tree. Not my idea.


  • 2/9 Dogs now seem to outnumber people on this train. I dare the next person to board to bring a cat.
  • 2/9 Wonder if we can provoke mass hysteria by getting the whole train to play dead as we pull into the next station?
  • 4/9 has just been accused of looking like a traffic warden. They obviously always wear top hats, cords and hobnails.
  • 6/9 Teepee upgrade. More rooms and (hopefully) fewer water features.
  • 6/9 Turns out if you whizz up lots of chillis in a food processor the result is quite hot. Also, tasting curry paste appears to be a bad idea.
  • 14/9 must find nicer excuses to visit sisters and their families.
  • 16/9 You can't pick your parents and just when you finally think you've figured them out, you lose one.
  • 27/9 Oh no! Stampedeing pensioners.
  • 29/9 If anyone needs me, I've taken up residence in the fridge.


  • 1/10 Finally found somewhere from where the Shard looks small.
  • 1/10 is at Crystal Palace. Only took 3 hours to walk here.
  • 5/10 Time to flee the country
  • 9/10 Bus early. Clearly not in Uk
  • 14/10 Overheard quote of the day 'You couldn't imagine having a drink with George Osbourne'. Think I'm quite happy not to.
  • 20/10 A review copy of 'Psychiatry under National Socialism'? Clearly must be an essential text when learning about wines and spirits.
  • 22/10 Thought, from a distance, they'd put up a giant bouncey castle in Trafalgar Sq. Alas closer up it appears not.
  • 26/10 Rainbow! Pot of gold looks to be in Walworth. Good place to hide it. No one will ever think of looking there.
  • 29/10 It turns out that when navigating the back streets of Hither Green, it's actually quite useful to know where you're trying to get to.


  • 2/11 Scotland, it's on went doorstep, but only if you live in Scotland. For the rest of us, it's miles away.
  • 3/11 Numbering the floors differently in the lift and on the stairs? Cunning ploy. Almost tricked me there.
  • 4/11 1 weekend to find the answer to the age old question: How many tables can I carry on a train? Suspect answer's not 4.
  • 7/11 Ah, the Monday morning commute. 300 miles. Guess this may take a while.
  • 12/11 Flat seems to be infested with swans.
  • 17/11 has come to the conclusion that deepest darkest Kent is 90% hedge. Bit like Devon.
  • 21/11 Argument between cyclist and car. Cyclist appears to be winning!
  • 25/11 thinks he may have arrived in hell. They've rebranded it Euston. Staff still dressed in red though.
  • 27/11 It's a long walk home from Coventry.
  • 29/11 31 years en route to the lifelong ambition to be a grumpy old man


  • 1/12 Every other word in the papers seems to be Osborne. Surely there's a good case to get rid of him to save on ink?
  • 3/12 forgot that this close to London the word village actually means small town.
  • 6/12 Loves pubs that say yes before you even ask the question. The world needs more.
  • 9/12 "I'm not getting my own way so I'm not going to play anymore"? Did we really elect a 5 year old to run the country?
  • 25/12 is wandering round a deserted city. Very post apocalyptic. Who needs the xmas day disaster movie!
mellotron, music

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Playing Clarinets to Whales

Ever wondered if Humpback Whales like Clarinet music?

Thankfully Dr David Rothenberg of the New Jersey Institute of Technology may have found the answer to that question in his paper To Wail With a Whale: Anatomy of an Interspecies Duet.

"Why?" you may ask, and thankfully the author tells us...

Having spent several years playing my clarinet to birds, sometimes getting a response, sometimes not, I was eager to try this interspecies jamming with humpback whales.

On that note, I think I go see if Tortoises like the drums...

mellotron, music

Music 2010

Given everyone at this time of year posts about their best films, music, books, etc, suppose I'd best follow the flock.

This is apparently what I've been listening to most for the past year (according to


Posted about a lot of those here already, so won't go into much more detail than that here.
  • Current Music
    Seth Lakeman - Band of Gold
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